Don't let the title fool you, we're not talking about killing real babies. Our theme for this month is about making your characters do something or change something that you didn't want to do or change, or killing off a character in order to make the story better. A sacrifice you've had to make for the greater good. While I haven't had to kill off any of my characters (yet) I have definitely had to make some hard cuts in order to improve the flow of the story. One particularly difficult cut was a scene where my main protagonist is spying on the main antagonist and overhears a conversation between him his mom. The reason this scene was hard for me to take out is because I think it really shows the motivation and core of my antagonist and reveals a more luring side to him. But alas, as my story developed I realized that this scene not only gave away too much too soon, it also didn't quite fit in with my new revisions of the story and had to go. I still very much plan on adding it as a deleted scene after I publish my book. Want a sneak peak? You got it! Okay, it's not really a peak, it's the whole thing, but I couldn't decide where to stop it. Enjoy.
I crept a little closer so I could
hear what they were saying. Mrs. Thomas’s voice cut through the air and it was
obvious she was not happy.
“Why her? Darling,
you could have so many other girls and they would all be a much better choice
than her.”
“No, mother. I
want her and I will have her,” Lucas
replied confidently.
“But why? She’s
nothing special; she’s not even that pretty. I don’t understand why we can’t
just get rid of her.” I felt my heart beating faster. I could only imagine what
get rid of her would mean for me.
Like I was some dog that bit her hand and now had to be put down. That’s how
she saw me. I noticed a sliver of light spilling out by the door and leaned
toward it to try and see inside. The only thing I could make out was the form
of Mrs. Thomas, sitting in a large chair by the fire. From the way she kept
moving her head she was watching Lucas pace the room.
“I’ve already told
you, I want her,” Lucas said again. When Mrs. Thomas didn’t reply he said impatiently,
“You don’t see the way people look at her as she walks by. Or how she lights up
whenever she talks about something she’s passionate about. People are drawn to
that light and they listen to her.” I felt myself frowning in the dark where no
one could see me. He thought people were drawn to me?
“She can be a very
powerful asset if she chooses to be on our side,” he finished.
“Or a very
powerful enemy if she chooses not to be,” Mrs. Thomas countered.
There was a moment
of silence while they both contemplated this. Mrs. Thomas was the one to break
the silence. “And she doesn’t even like you.” At that Lucas sighed. I thought
he’d lost the battle, but he wasn’t ready to give up yet.
“Just give me
time, mother. She’ll come around and you’ll be glad you decided to let her
stay. She can live here so you can keep a close eye on her and I’ll be with her
at school. If she steps out of line even once, you can send her back,” Lucas
said.
“Sounds like
you’ve got this all worked out. You realize how much of a liability she is?”
Mrs. Thomas asked.
“I do, but I’m
willing to take that chance,” Lucas replied. I was taken back at the utter
confidence he had in me of all
people. I found myself a little flattered that he was willing to risk so much
for me, but I felt bad for him. He was a fool to think I’d cooperate. A fool to
think I could just sit by and pretend like everything was real. He would risk a
lot and he would lose it. Mrs. Thomas seemed to think the same thing.
“I hope you’re
right about her darling. I would hate to see you heartbroken over such an
unworthy girl, but I love you too much to not give you what you want.
Especially when you’re willing to risk so much for it. She can stay,” Mrs. Thomas
said as she got up and walked toward the door leading back to her wing. She
paused in the doorway.
“For now,” she
added. I couldn’t see Lucas through the crack of the door, but I heard the
exhalation of breath. He was relieved. I could have hid when I heard him coming,
but I didn’t. He came out the door and stopped short when he saw me standing
there. He didn’t look embarrassed or angry like I thought he would be. He
simply smiled and bowed slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. Then without a
word he continued on his way as if he’d never been interrupted. As if he hadn’t
caught me listening in on his conversation. He wasn’t disappointed that I
heard.
*Copyright Jayne L. Bowden*
