Quitting.
You know, I've had all week to work on this, you would assume that I would have thought it less poignant to write this before now. But, I am getting ahead of myself. Recently I visited my sister and her family down in Arizona and she had me listen to the first couple chapters of a book/author who I instantly admired. The author's name is Jon Acuff and his book is, "Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job & Your Dream Job". Within the first chapter, Jon is able to make any dreamer feel as though their dream is well within grasp, but he also brings you plummeting back toward earth making you realize that truly achieving your dream, means hard work, focus, and sacrifice. He brings to life that quitting your day job, which chances are, you aren't that happy with, isn't going to get you anywhere near your dream job. You need the day job, to fuel the dream job.
I have put off writing my novel, or just writing in general, for a number of different reasons. Currently, I am sure I could list of every single one of them and tell you exactly why each one is so applicable to why I haven't written in months. They are rock solid excuses, no getting around a one. So I think the reason I really latched on to this great idea so much is because currently, there are a lot of things I really love about my day job, but it also has a lot of restrictions. I find myself day dreaming of quitting my job and working full time to finally achieve finishing my novel. Usually this day dream lasts a total of 10 seconds, because then I instantly let monthly bills flash through my head; knowing that quitting isn't the answer. What usually happens is the opposite. I let my day job dictate how much time I put into my dream job. I get home from my day job and I am tired or I have social functions to attend, because not only do I have to support myself, I have to get out there so I can hopefully find my prince charming that will sweep me off my feet and take care of me so I don't have to work a regular job like everyone else. Then... I can have all the time in the WORLD to write! .... I've started day dreaming again. Back to business. I let excuses get in the way of my dreams. Basically that is what I am trying to say. I let every little tiny excuse get in the way of something that I really, really want. And why? Because, I'm scared it isn't going to be worth anything? Because, I am scared of getting rejected? Because, I'm worried no one is going to like it?
So what. If its something I really, really want. I will force myself through the tiredness, I will skip the social functions, I will push past the questions and doubt and I will push harder than I ever felt possible, because thats what you do when you want to make a dream a reality.
Or... so thats what I got from what Mr. Acuff was trying to say...
Hear hear! This so applicable to me right now, it's scary! I have the same worries and fears but I do have one that wasn't on your list of reasons to procrastinate writing: fear of success. Seems silly, but I'm afraid people might actually like it and then what? What happens if all my dreams come true? You could quote Flynn Ryder from Tangled and say, "You get to find a new dream", but I don't want a new dream. I want this one and I don't want it to change. Guess that's something I need to get over.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I know it's hard to sacrifice time, especially after you've been working your butt off at a full-time job, where you spent the last eight hours wishing that you just had time for fun. It's that dream of not having to work, of being able to spend your days writing whatever your muses throw at you, that spurs that sacrifice.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny because when I worked a full time job, I somehow managed to write more than I do now. Being laid off from my job and taking on being a full time mom until I can find a new job has drained my muse. Oh sure, she sometimes pops in with a scene or two, but she's nowhere near the time hog she used to be, and when she does make an appearance, she can't seem to decide which book I should be motivated to write, so she gives me a mishmash of all of them.
Oh well, that's the life of the writer.