Killing Your Babies

Don't let the title fool you, we're not talking about killing real babies. Our theme for this month is about making your characters do something or change something that you didn't want to do or change, or killing off a character in order to make the story better. A sacrifice you've had to make for the greater good. While I haven't had to kill off any of my characters (yet) I have definitely had to make some hard cuts in order to improve the flow of the story. One particularly difficult cut was a scene where my main protagonist is spying on the main antagonist and overhears a conversation between him his mom. The reason this scene was hard for me to take out is because I think it really shows the motivation and core of my antagonist and reveals a more luring side to him. But alas, as my story developed I realized that this scene not only gave away too much too soon, it also didn't quite fit in with my new revisions of the story and had to go. I still very much plan on adding it as a deleted scene after I publish my book. Want a sneak peak? You got it! Okay, it's not really a peak, it's the whole thing, but I couldn't decide where to stop it. Enjoy.

I crept a little closer so I could hear what they were saying. Mrs. Thomas’s voice cut through the air and it was obvious she was not happy.

“Why her? Darling, you could have so many other girls and they would all be a much better choice than her.”

“No, mother. I want her and I will have her,” Lucas replied confidently.

“But why? She’s nothing special; she’s not even that pretty. I don’t understand why we can’t just get rid of her.” I felt my heart beating faster. I could only imagine what get rid of her would mean for me. Like I was some dog that bit her hand and now had to be put down. That’s how she saw me. I noticed a sliver of light spilling out by the door and leaned toward it to try and see inside. The only thing I could make out was the form of Mrs. Thomas, sitting in a large chair by the fire. From the way she kept moving her head she was watching Lucas pace the room.

“I’ve already told you, I want her,” Lucas said again. When Mrs. Thomas didn’t reply he said impatiently, “You don’t see the way people look at her as she walks by. Or how she lights up whenever she talks about something she’s passionate about. People are drawn to that light and they listen to her.” I felt myself frowning in the dark where no one could see me. He thought people were drawn to me?

“She can be a very powerful asset if she chooses to be on our side,” he finished.

“Or a very powerful enemy if she chooses not to be,” Mrs. Thomas countered.

There was a moment of silence while they both contemplated this. Mrs. Thomas was the one to break the silence. “And she doesn’t even like you.” At that Lucas sighed. I thought he’d lost the battle, but he wasn’t ready to give up yet.

“Just give me time, mother. She’ll come around and you’ll be glad you decided to let her stay. She can live here so you can keep a close eye on her and I’ll be with her at school. If she steps out of line even once, you can send her back,” Lucas said.

“Sounds like you’ve got this all worked out. You realize how much of a liability she is?” Mrs. Thomas asked.

“I do, but I’m willing to take that chance,” Lucas replied. I was taken back at the utter confidence he had in me of all people. I found myself a little flattered that he was willing to risk so much for me, but I felt bad for him. He was a fool to think I’d cooperate. A fool to think I could just sit by and pretend like everything was real. He would risk a lot and he would lose it. Mrs. Thomas seemed to think the same thing.

“I hope you’re right about her darling. I would hate to see you heartbroken over such an unworthy girl, but I love you too much to not give you what you want. Especially when you’re willing to risk so much for it. She can stay,” Mrs. Thomas said as she got up and walked toward the door leading back to her wing. She paused in the doorway.

“For now,” she added. I couldn’t see Lucas through the crack of the door, but I heard the exhalation of breath. He was relieved. I could have hid when I heard him coming, but I didn’t. He came out the door and stopped short when he saw me standing there. He didn’t look embarrassed or angry like I thought he would be. He simply smiled and bowed slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. Then without a word he continued on his way as if he’d never been interrupted. As if he hadn’t caught me listening in on his conversation. He wasn’t disappointed that I heard.
*Copyright Jayne L. Bowden*

The dreaded query letter...

Once more, I am attempting to entice some unwitting agent with my work and convince them how much better their lives will be with me in at as their client. And, once again, I am met with rejections. However, this round of submissions, I sent out eight queries and debated whether I should continue sending or wait for a response to see if it was well received. I actually received three personalized rejections, which is one step up from a form letter. The critique I received was that, although I'm a skilled writer, they didn't connect with the voice. Which is encouraging, but not.

My interpretation of these rejections is that my sample pages were decent, my writing craft honed. What I lack is the voice that reaches out to these readers immediately. So I resorted to researching on my most trusted writing site, Kidlit.com, and found myself on the exact same wavelength as the agent who posts on that site. She spoke of the most effective way of sending submissions. Rather than send a slew of the same, although personalized, queries to fifty agents, send it to 6-8 agents and see how it was received. If there are only rejections, the query letter isn't up to par or the sample pages still need some revising and developing.

Based on her summary, I've determined that I need to polish my query letter and get it focused and powerful. It wouldn't hurt for me to review my sample pages either. To get more voice in there, I believe I need to insert more information, rather than just action, which was also a post found on Kidlit.com. So, even though I've finished another serious revision of my book, the work of revising is not yet over. Then, another round of queries and we'll see how those are received. Eventually I'll get it right.

I Came, I saw, I... Failed

Well, I heard back on the HOW Writer's Contest, and although I figured I wouldn't be a finalist, the truth of it stung a little. But, all in all, I'm glad I tried, and I won't let this hinder me from continuing on.

On the 1st novel in my series, I got the following scores (the max each judge could give is 135):
129
124
57

On the 2nd novel in my series, I got:
124
100
53

I could tell that the same three people judged both entries. They all gave feedback that I can work with in my many, many revisions that are sure to come. Some of their comments contradicted each other, so I'll just have to be sure to go with my heart on any changes I make. Because, really, my characters are in charge, not me. :o)

A painful way to die...

Sitting here at my computer, my husband furiously playing Starcraft in the background, I realize I've been staring at the same scene on my computer screen for over two hours now. I don't recall breathing or even blinking. What I know is that I still haven't figured out how to reconcile new revisions and better developed ideas with my current prose.
What am I to do? Try to mold my previous scene with recent revisions, or scrap the whole chapter and rewrite the blasted thing from scratch?
The worst part of this whole situation is that I have been stuck on this revision block for nearly three weeks. It's pretty well staunched any creativity or even motivation to continue going. Sitting down to work it through and press on, my eyes instantly glaze over and my mind repeatedly flashes a blinking, glaring light that says, "You'll never figure this out, chump."
I can't really move on because a major element in the plot hinges on how this scene resolves, yet I can't come to any solid resolution. One thing I know I shouldn't do: start at the beginning of the novel and re-read my most recent revisions. I can think of numerous ways to die slowly and not nearly as painful.
That leads me to wonder, am I trying too hard to make this scene perfect the first time without allowing myself the freedom that future revisions give me? Perhaps I'm not willing to kill my babies that the previous scene held, which binds my hands.
I don't know if this entry is to motivate me or to reassure myself that I'm still capable of putting words down on paper, but what I will have to do is simply write through the scene as if it has never been done before, which, in all reality, it hasn't. Wish me luck and I hope you never encounter a situation like this. If you do, I'll send you my list of 102 ways to slowly die that are less painful than revision issues such as this...

There's more to writing than just...writing

Mixed feelings assault me whenever people ask me about my book. Usually they inquire, "When will you finish your book?" What baffles the casual conversationalist is my response of, "I finished it in December." They fail to understand, as did I when I first began this endeavour of publishing a book (mostly so I could stay home in my pajamas without a bra all day and call it work), is that there is more to writing than, well, writing. Putting the story into a word processor is only one stage of a seemingly endless process.
Speaking from the stage of revision number seven, I can't honestly say when my book will be done. I realize my strength comes with revisions. My first draft is more of a detailed outline thrown together haphazardly, knowing that I will revise it and I can work out the problems later. Essentially, my point in writing this post is to say that I have discovered my style as a writer. My first draft is to get my story out of my brain and into the computer. If I pause to pick the perfect phrase or rework a sequence for too long, I forget the small details I wanted to add to the plot as a whole. Over and over, I have to remind myself to "just get it out there" and then I can fix it all later. This is the best solution to my writer's block. I get too involved in the language rather than getting the story out before I lose my train of thought.
This system of write first, edit and revise later, has also saved me from becoming disheartened about my writing. During my editing process, I've written new scenes to tighten up existing ideas and fill plot holes. These new scenes are first drafts. If I try to write them well like the rest of the revised section, I grow discouraged and think I'm kidding myself with aspirations of becoming an author. Again, I remind myself to get it out there and then work with it. There needs to be something written in order to revise. So stick with it, get your story out there, and then you can worry about the details that comprise a polished manuscript. Hopefully it won't take you seven revisions like it has taken me...so far...