You can write

As I think back over the last few years, I realize that a lot has changed, and a lot hasn't. I may have a few more books under my belt now, but I'm just as unsure of myself as the day I did my first pitch to an agent. Today, I'd like to talk about our fears as authors.

Self-Doubt
I'm not good enough. Seriously. It doesn't matter what I've written or the epic stories that are currently  whirring around inside my brain, waiting to be typed up... I'm just not good enough. Now, I know, I know, some of my friends that are reading this right now are getting ready to give me that kick in the pants they're so awesome at doing, but I just have to say that it's true. I think this just comes with the territory. I don't know a single author who doesn't fret over what they've written. The key is to just try and believe in yourself.

What If's will kill you
I, for one, am a worry wart. I'm a nutcase - never being able to make decisions and always wondering "what if?". Should I write so-and-so's story now, or someone else's? Should I write my story in first or third person - or both? Should I have long chapters or short? I can't tell you how many times I've written entire chapters in two different ways so that I could figure out what felt right. There really isn't a fix I can give you for those of us who just can't seem to decide what to do. All I can say is: just let your characters roll with it. It's your job to write what they give you. If a certain character is motivating you today, write about him/her. If a different character is pushing you tomorrow, give that one the spotlight. Very rarely will you get anywhere by trying to force a story out of someone who isn't ready to tell it.

Your story will never EVER be perfect
This is true. You will finish your book and go through X number of edits before you might feel like it's ready to submit to a publisher (or self-publish if that's your route). You'll probably have read the words "The End" at least five times, and you might even hate your story by the time you're ready for that next step. I've been there. I've done that. And then I've sent off my query letter, synopsis, and (in some cases), the full  manuscript. As soon as you hit that send button, those doubts fill you and you think, "Crap, did I change this? And did I ever change that his eyes were blue instead of green? Or, did I write enough detail, or did I head hop, or did I..."
You get my point.

My suggestion is to make notes as you think of those problems. If you've already sent off that full manuscript, at least you'll have a chance to make those changes during the editing process. If you've only sent off your query and synopsis, then I'd sleep on it (again, take notes as you think of fixes) and go back in after at least a day to make those changes. You might hate your book by the time it's published, and you might feel like everyone will hate it as much as you do at the moment (we authors can have a love/hate relationship with our book sometimes). Don't worry though, it'll turn into full-on love again after you've gotten a break from it.

Full of What If's, self doubt, and a story that may or may not suck? Here are my notes:

• As I just mentioned, make notes. Whether it's tweaks you need to make to the story line or to details within the story, or maybe it's mistakes you make over and over again, make a "BEFORE YOU SUBMIT" list, and follow it every time. Spell check, double spaces, formatting, etc.
• Ever heard of the phrase: Two sets of eyes are better than one? Yeah, there's a reason that's a saying. Find someone you can trust to read and critique your work. Chances are, you're like me, and your brain auto-corrects words/sentences, so you could have really jacked up somewhere. A critique partner will help you catch those. 
• Read it out loud. I know, that sounds weird, and it can feel uncomfortable. If you can find some alone time, read your book out loud. This can help you improve flow, and sometimes you'll even catch those pesky mistypes I just mentioned. Chances are, if it reads well when you speak it, then you've nailed it.
• Don't write for someone else. Write for your characters. Write for you. Some people will like your book, some will hate it. Don't focus on those haters. For one, some people thrive by making others feel bad (aka: bullies). For another, you shouldn't waste a single breath on them because there are other, more important people to focus on: the people who love your book, those whose lives were changed by merely losing themselves in the story you brought to life.

And finally...
You can write. Your characters chose you, because you rock that much. Anyone who tells you otherwise can bite you.

Incredible Conference

Three of the chics (Jayne, Hannah, and I) attended the Utah RWA Heart of the West Conference in gorgeous Park City, UT this weekend. We met a bunch of wonderful authors (both men and women) and I'm excited to have made some new friends. We also learned a lot, and I, for one can't wait to use my new-found knowledge to work! I'll be re-writing my query letter, analyzing my books, and sending out more queries to agents, editors, and publishers so that my dreams of being published can come through.

If you've never been to an RWA Conference, I would seriously suggest attending one. Many of them allow you to attend even if you're not a member (you'd likely just pay a higher fee). So if you're a writer (un-published or published), or even if you're just thinking about it, you should definately go to one. The wealth of knowledge provided in the classes is incredible!

The dreaded query letter...

Once more, I am attempting to entice some unwitting agent with my work and convince them how much better their lives will be with me in at as their client. And, once again, I am met with rejections. However, this round of submissions, I sent out eight queries and debated whether I should continue sending or wait for a response to see if it was well received. I actually received three personalized rejections, which is one step up from a form letter. The critique I received was that, although I'm a skilled writer, they didn't connect with the voice. Which is encouraging, but not.

My interpretation of these rejections is that my sample pages were decent, my writing craft honed. What I lack is the voice that reaches out to these readers immediately. So I resorted to researching on my most trusted writing site, Kidlit.com, and found myself on the exact same wavelength as the agent who posts on that site. She spoke of the most effective way of sending submissions. Rather than send a slew of the same, although personalized, queries to fifty agents, send it to 6-8 agents and see how it was received. If there are only rejections, the query letter isn't up to par or the sample pages still need some revising and developing.

Based on her summary, I've determined that I need to polish my query letter and get it focused and powerful. It wouldn't hurt for me to review my sample pages either. To get more voice in there, I believe I need to insert more information, rather than just action, which was also a post found on Kidlit.com. So, even though I've finished another serious revision of my book, the work of revising is not yet over. Then, another round of queries and we'll see how those are received. Eventually I'll get it right.

Agent Research

This is a quick post, mostly curiosity driven. I want to know how many agents you all, on average, research and submit to. How intensive do you research them before you submit? Frustrated with the time investment I put into each agent only to be rejected, I've nearly reached the point where I want to find someone who is open to submissions, accepts my genre, and then conform my query letter and sample pages to what they ask and off it goes. I just want to get a bite, rather than waste so much time researching who I would like to work with, only to learn that they aren't interested in me. Boo. Is there a certain method of research and submission you employ? A site that you're drawing your names and agencies from? Help me out here. I'm excited to once more be involved in the submission process, but man, it's more time consuming, I feel, than writing a novel. It certainly, thus far, isn't as rewarding. Tips?

Impatience, Impatience

Seriously, I'm dying here... waiting for feedback on the contest. Jayne and I both submitted entries, so I'm really excited to hear how we both did.

As a pacifier, I ended up submitting another query to an agent in hopes that I'll get picked up. Luckily I'm now a member of the RWA and URWA so I was able to add that to my query letter. Fingers crossed that there will be good news all around!!