Well, this months theme, is "killing your babies". Up until this last weekend, I knew exactly what I was going to write about. What inspired the change? Well, lets just say, I finally realized that in a sense, I had to kill my first born. I am going to have to start from the beginning and rewrite my whole novel.
I started my novel probably 6-8 years ago. Obviously, I was never really consistent with it through those years, only pulling it out when I felt some new bit of inspiration, day dreaming about the kind of story I wanted to tell. It has only been in the last 3 years I have been serious, and even then, I haven't been committed to it fully. Life happens.
Over the years as I would write little scenes here and there, I knew what story I wanted to tell, but I didn't put much thought into characterization over the whole novel. Later on when I wanted to bridge the gap and make the little scenes piece together, I found I was constantly making changes to what the characters would say and do, because they didn't fit.
A couple months ago, I decided to change a huge plot point in the book. My heroine originally suffered the loss of her mother, which devastated her. In that loss, I wanted to write a book where she could grow and regain herself through her friends and the people around her. I was constantly struggling with, "Would she really care about that?" or "Why does this even matter to her?" Those questions were constantly circling the inevitable drain. SO, I changed her struggle from a loss of a parent to a devastating break up. Maybe a little more mainstream, but I feel for the story I want to tell, it really opens up a lot of avenues. I found my character's responses started to make sense, I felt an urgency to get on with the story to find resolution for them.
Now I have tried to go back and implement this large plot change through out all the work I have done. I kept hitting walls. Even though I was on board with the plot changes, nothing felt congruent. With all of this, I have decided to rewrite the whole novel. Some scenes will be the same, but I feel that if I leave it open as a blank canvas, it will open up a lot of room for discoveries that I couldn't quite reach before.
It could also send me into depression. I feel as though all the hours and work I spent on the previous 97,000 words mean nothing. I know that isn't true, because with out that, I wouldn't know what direction I wanted to go.
I realize this has ended up being a eulogy for my dead "baby", but don't worry, I am working on a new one, and by darn it. Its going to freaking rock.
I had the same kind of situation happen to my first born. My issue revolved around my failure to define my main character's personality. I wrote the book and was working on revisions when it occurred to me that I wasn't too involved or attached to my main character. I had to use a character sketch to define her and the subsequent characters.
ReplyDeleteAfter that exercise, I realized I had to rewrite every scene with my main character, which meant the whole book. I didn't delete my first or other drafts with this glaring issue. Instead, I worked from page one and made the changes, keeping some major plot elements, but erasing many others while I found that many new plot points were created with such a defined character.
Don't give up on your first drafts. Take the good and the kill what your character doesn't need anymore...